"The pain is immense. And yet it’s been there in our hearts for so long we’ve grown numb to it. But it’s that chronic pain in your spirit that'll really get to you. But how can you not be in pain when you’ve watched so many unarmed Black people killed at the hands of their own government? There are so many that it’s impossible to keep up. This week, Jordan Edwards joined The List, and the pain is exponentially greater because he’s one of hundreds in our collective mind. The List I’m speaking of is both personal and universal—there are names that are on everyone’s list, like Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, and Oscar Grant, as well as names that are on my list that may not be on yours. I can’t forget about Aiyana Stanley-Jones, the seven-year-old girl killed as she slept in her home by police raiding the wrong house. Her story haunts me. I’m sure there are names on your list that aren’t on mine, maybe one that happened in your area that didn’t go national. But the fact that there is The List, a macabre roll call of unforgettable, avoidable deaths—that is unconscionable. And deeply painful. Because taken altogether, these are killings that have the impact of terrorism—this is violence against civilians that sends a message to others. The message is the Black body means little in this society. The List is so long that the stories come at you in droves, causing cognitive overload that makes it harder to process it all. This week we got one new story and two updates on older ones. Jordan Edwards—a cherubic 15-year-old boy with a 3.5 GPA and a spot on the varsity football team—was neither suspected of a crime nor armed when Officer Roy Oliver shot into a moving car—against police procedure—and killed Edwards. Edwards was a good kid, but it didn't matter. The penalty of Blackness outshone his character. "
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