New York Daily News - Ideas & Opinions - Stanley Crouch: It's up to blacks to end stigma

New York Daily News - Ideas & Opinions - Stanley Crouch: It's up to blacks to end stigmaIt's up to blacks to end stigma

Alex Rodriguez, the Yankee hitter and the highest-paid player in baseball, has admitted that he is getting therapy. This came as a shock to many but was seen as an advance because, as his wife, Cynthia, said, she was proud of him. She knew his background and where he came from and what it took for him to get the help that led Rodriguez to conclude, "I don't know where I would be" without therapy.

In this month's Essence, publicist, writer and philanthropist Terrie Williams reveals that she has had to battle depression, which blew a hole in the myth of the undaunted black superwoman.

What is made evident by Williams' story is that there are still a number of problems that black Americans can have when it comes to facing up to the burdens of modern life. One of them is admitting to the emotional distress brought on by careers, success and the demands that come either with career prominence or just living right there down on the ground like everyone else. Some still feel embarrassed to admit they need help.

Williams says, "The reason I decided to speak out was because I see too many who are needlessly and silently suffering. I believe that we will not be able to approach healing as a nation until we begin to peel away our masks. That goes for everybody. As far as black people in particular are concerned, depression is at the root of so many things in our community, in the way that we overeat, drink, have diabetes and have irresponsible sex. Much of this, including the violence we see in every age group, is because so many of us are in pain and are not handling it well."

Williams is not talking about a culture of pathology; she is zeroing in on modern human problems. She does not feel that black people suffer from these alone. But they have not been publicly addressed, so that people can free themselves of the guilt that comes from feeling that they have let themselves or others down.

When Williams pointed that out, I recalled a black student whom I taught in college 35 years ago. He suffered from depression, but would never admit it to black students or black staff. If overwhelmed with suicidal impulses, he would call a white colleague of mine and confess his troubles. He did not want the black college community to know that he was not being a strong black man.

Williams sees a version of this that applies to black women. "We are all afraid to show that there is a chink in the armor. We feel that it is a sign of weakness to say that we have challenges, as if everyone in the world doesn't have issues and deep hurts of some sort. Black people will tell you they have a relative in prison or on drugs before they will talk about suffering from depression. Suffering in silence gives your problems greater power over you."

Since she has started speaking out about her own troubles, Williams has gotten a tremendous response. She has been startled by how deeply her troubles were shared by successful men and women, many of whom she thought were simply having it all.

Our problems as modern people, whatever our color, sex or religion, keep coming at us. Perhaps, when the blues drop onus too heavily and refuse to lift, wewould do well to follow the examples of Alex Rodriguez and Terrie Williams, who have both learned how to get assistance in putting up a good fight for emotional well-being.

Originally published on May 26, 2005